


Inexperience

by HoneyBee95



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Desire, Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexuality, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers, Stormpilot, Urination, Virginity, fn-2003 - Freeform, ptsd finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 00:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5607544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyBee95/pseuds/HoneyBee95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Experiences are part of what makes us human. No matter who we are, or where we’ve been, every experience defines us.<br/>Poe Dameron had realized early on that Finn had very little understanding in most things, and tries to help him as best he can in every way possible</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inexperience

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guy's! this is my first fanfiction! I hope you enjoy!

Experiences are part of what makes us human. No matter who we are, or where we’ve been, every experience defines us.  
Poe Dameron had realized early on that Finn had very little understanding in most things, and as he stood beneath the breathy water falls, dark hair soaked, and only darkening still, he reached out a hand to guide Finn in.  
‘I’m not sure Poe, I’ve never done anything like this before’  
The boy stood in only his underwear at the rivers bank, hands palming his elbows, arms resting above his navel, chest broad and strong: bared.  
Poe smiled at him, finding his nativity adorable, ‘Come on buddy, when have I ever let you down?’ Finn turned away, embarrassed.  
‘This is different, back with the first order, something like this, something’ he struggled to find the word, ‘…”fun” was frowned upon, I only learned how to swim to preserve myself for the order. But this is- ‘  
‘Hey’ Poe interrupted, face serious.  
‘Finn, are you with the first order?’  
‘No’  
‘Am I first order?’  
‘No’  
‘Then all your doing’ Poe breathed, ‘Is taking a swim with me. Phasma and all your other commanders may have taught you to kill as your only purpose in life, but you owe them nothing. The most you can do now is enjoy what they never let you do for fun, as fun.’  
Poe placed a wet hand on the boy’s shoulder, he flinched a little at the contact but not too much to warrant discomfort. Poe felt the sudden urge to hold the ex-Stormtrooper, but stopped himself, not wanting to turn the innocent action into something more.  
‘And don’t worry,’ Poe added ‘I’ll be with you every step of the way.’  
Under Poe’s gaze Finn grew embarrassed, and nodded.  
Slowly reaching for his arms, Poe guided Finn into the cool water, and watched as the boy’s hesitation turned into joy.  
‘Just focus on me now buddy. Not the order, not Phasma, not Kylo, me. And enjoy yourself.”

\---

  
Poe had forgotten Finn had little experience with good food. He’d only just come out of intensive care in regards to his damaged back – with a severe warning not to exert himself to much or he’d be back in bed – from the stab wound special courtesy of Kylo Ren. So when Finn gaped at the dinner that sat before him, Poe couldn’t help but offer him a confused look.

  
‘What’s the matter?’

  
‘It’s not mushed’

  
‘…it’s not supposed to be mushed’

  
Finn blushed and continued, ‘Well’ I’ve never seen food before in its natural form, only a s grey slop.’  
Finns words finally dawned on the piolet, and Poe felt very stupid for how inconsiderate he was. It must have shown on his face, because Finn quickly added, ‘Hey its ok!’ Finn said reassuringly.  
‘it’s easy to forget things like this, you’re always looking out for me, so naturally some things I should know, I’m not gonna know. Besides, this’ll make a great joke one day.’

  
There he goes again.  
Finn being adorable, kind and gentle. How someone could find this much space in their heart was beyond Poe. And as Finn ate his food, he could not help but stare longingly at his lips. Soft and full.  
As Finn smiled up at him, he felt his teeth bite the corner of his bottom lip.

  
\---

  
Torrential rain was common at the base, and every now and again, a colossal downpour would halt all activity for the resistance, trapping many indoors.  
Floods where not unusual, so watching as the occasional tree trunk float by Poe’s apartment was common. But not for Finn. Ever since joining them, no one was willing to offer the ex-Stormtrooper a room to share. Only Poe was willing, and so Finn set up a spare room for him.

Only Poe was willing, and so Finn set up a spare room for him.  
Rey stayed with them whenever she was allowed back from training, but most of the time, it was just Finn and Poe. Alone.  
‘How long do you think it will be,’ Finn nodded at the heavens ‘until the rain stops.’

  
Poe was making the two of them mugs of tea, back turned.

  
‘I don’t know. Usually it’s just two days for the water to clear, but the rain, anything from a couple of days to a week.’  
Poe approached Finn from behind, his shoulders draped by a heavy blanket, sitting in front of the door, watching as puddles road.  
Poe handed him the tea, his fingers lingering on the boy’s skin as he pulled away.  
‘thank you’ he said, smiling bashfully.  
Poe smirked and said nothing. 

The two sat side by side, not a word between them spoken, the quick pitter patter of rain sending complete messages to one another in the hazy rise of the smog floating in the air.

From the corner of his eye, Poe watched Finn.  
From his neck to his thighs, he could make out the firm muscle of his body structure. Whilst Finn was solid, his personality and appearance gave him a softer look, making it easy to forget he was once trained to kill at command.  
Tough yet soft, a rare combination that barely crossed paths and where seen as opposing forces by many that could not be joined. But in the rare occasion they did, what bloomed was something so rare and confusing that it was hard not to love it, yet easy to hate.  
Finn was this. But he Had been fortunate. Amongst his comrades, this would have been a flaw worth stamping out. But amongst the resistance - despite being feared by his peers – it was admired.

  
BB-8 rolled by suddenly, and his sudden appearance gave Poe an idea.

  
‘Have you ever danced before?’  
‘Danced?’  
‘Yeah’  
The darker boy blushed ‘not really’ he admitted. Poe grinned. standing up, walked over to the humming droid, and altered his antenna. A song began to play, and Poe held out his.  
‘Dance with me’

  
Finn was hesitant at first, unsure, but he reached for the older man’s hand, stood up, and began to sway with the piolets movements.  
The two moved like this for a while, trapped in a complete bubble of bliss. Finn’s head resting on Poe’s shoulder, their fingers entwined and the soft padding of feet and rain forming a beat to the quiet melodies.  
‘What do you think?’  
Poe breathed, taking in Finn’s scent.  
‘Its’ he started, looking for a word, a sentence he could use to describe it, feelings and movements and sensations bound up in one.

  
‘amazing’

  
\---  
The scream was loud violent and desperate.

  
Poe sat up in confusion, trying to process what was happening. BB-8 rolled by, and alerted him that the sound had come from Finn’s room.  
Most of the time, when Poe was woken suddenly, he would take a full five minutes to adjust to his environment. This time however, it was 20 seconds flat.  
Poe was in Finn’s room before he realized he had moved. Sat up, eyes wide, coated in sweat, Finn continued to scream into the night.

  
‘Finn, what’s the matt- ‘  
‘We have to save Slip!’  
‘Finn?’  
‘Please don’t let him die! take me instead!’  
‘Finn no one’s gonna harm you!’  
‘Please don’t let them do it! Please! We have to save him!’

  
It dawned on Poe suddenly what Finn was talking about. The piolet wrapped his arms around the boy and sat in the soiled sheets. Finn cried openly, hiccupping and muttering ‘I’m sorry’ every now and again.  
Poe cleaned the sheets and bathed with Finn, in an effort to calm him, and sat together in their shared kitchen once fully clean.  
‘I’m sorry’ Finn spoke first, eyes never meeting Poe’s gaze.  
‘Why?’  
‘For all the trouble I’ve caused. For messing up. For having to take care of me. For being a waste of space.’  
Poe gritted his teeth.  
‘Finn’ Poe said, anger rising,  
‘You are and have never been a waste of space. You are a hero. Whether you believe it or not, your very existence has benefitted so many people in the long run.’ Poe placed a hand on Finns shoulder.

  
‘you need to start telling me things buddy. No matter how hard or awful, I will listen. Tell me, and I’ll help you.’  
Finn finally looked up, small tears still in his eyes.  
‘Why’ he began, wiping a stray tear from his cheek  
‘do you care about me this much?’  
Poe was lost for words. Not expecting this question. What was he to say? The truth? A lie? What would happen if he did either? As Finn looked up through his dark eyelashes, laden with tears like fresh dew, he made up his mind.  
Poe leaned in, and pressed his lips gently against the ex-Stormtrooper.  
Finn’s eyes where open, but Poe did not care, he was only focused on the sensation of his lips touching the younger boy’s.  
Finn had stopped crying when he pulled away, and his eyes where wide with wonder.

  
‘What was…that?’  
‘A kiss’  
‘no, I know that, but what for?’  
‘I like you Finn’ Poe replied.  
Finn looked down, but Poe’s hand was there to quickly lift his head up again.  
‘What about you?’ Poe asked, ‘How do you feel about me?’  
Finn hesitated,  
‘I like you too.’

  
As Poe and Finn lay in bed together, Finn spoke up.

  
‘P-poe?’  
‘Mhm?’  
‘That-you where my first kiss.’  
Poe smiled  
‘Did you like it?’  
‘Yeah.’  
\---

  
Finn was scared.

  
It wasn’t in his labored breathing. It wasn’t in the subtle shake of his hips. It wasn’t in in the hand that held Poe’s when he was nervous. It wasn’t his teeth digging into his lip, threatening to spill blood.

  
It was the look in his eyes.

  
How they had gotten into this position, Poe could not remember, but what was originally a make out session, turned into something more. This was a year after the waterfall, months after the food, weeks after dancing, and days after their shared confession.  
So in a way, all that had happened had led to this moment.

  
Clothes and property lay strewn about in their now shared room, and even in the current lull in the deed they were about to commit, Poe’s madness was still there.  
It was Finns fearful gaze that brought him back to his senses.  
Poe had had sex before, but it was rough and to the point. This time however, it was with a man he was totally enamored with, and had possibly no sexual or romantic experience before hand, other than what Poe was about to give him.  
Finn lay back in the sheets, waiting for Poe to enter him, but it was painfully obvious to see that he wasn’t yet prepared for him.

  
‘I’m scared’  
‘I know’  
‘I’ve never done this before’  
‘It’s ok’  
‘Poe…’ Finn looked away, and back up at him.

  
He needed reassurance. The Pilot kissed the boy tenderly, and rested his forehead against his soon to be lover.  
‘we can stop if you want to,’  
‘No’ Finn confessed ‘I want to keep going’  
‘I’ll be gentle’  
‘please, can you?’  
‘Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you’ Poe whispered this into his ear and positioned himself on top of him.

  
Finn held his breath and closed his eyes, waiting for the pain to subside.  
‘Look at me’ Poe commanded gently adjusting himself to the boy’s body. Finn opened his eyes, and met Poe’s own.  
Soon the air was filled with the noises of their lovemaking, Finn’s anxiety and fear gone, replaced only by pleasure and passion.  
Poe was more concerned about making Finn feel good. And even when Finn reached his climax, and came all over himself and onto Poe too, he only cared that it was because Finn completely trusted and loved him.

  
And when Poe finally came too, he breathed Finn’s name out loud, releasing long, hard and full into him, filling him with his love.  
Later, as the two lay in each other’s arms, Finn spoke first,  
‘I love you’  
‘I know’

  
Poe did know, and he would make sure Finn would know, as long as the two of them lived.

**Author's Note:**

> In my head, I see Finn as a character who would suffer from ptsd. I'm not an expert, but I tried to make it obviuos that finn was having a bit of a break down. If there is anything that I need to change, please let me know, and i will do my best! and Slip is the character we saw get shot at the begining of th movie, in case anyone was wondering. Please comment! =^^=


End file.
